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I think the cashier at the grocery store clocked me today, but like in a nice way? She was smiling at me a lot and was just super friendly.
Is that what it means when people are really super nice to you? /gen
I guess I have no way of knowing, and I maybe just think too much about passing, but idk it was kinda the vibe I got.
Yeah it reminds me of the "pity passing" concept on the accursed place, lol. I got a lot of compliments about my winter boots and incredible hair, and yeah maybe the ladies were being overly nice because they know I'm trans, but I think that's okay? Still getting ur gender respected and all. Kinda heartening that dumb old cissies would think to be nice anyway, tbh.
Fuck that brainworm winter boots always deserve compliments. Winter fashion is too cute to do otherwise.
(Also if you have nice hair you'll get complimented on it even when passing as masc in my experience)
WINTER FASHION FUCKS
tall boots are life
Funny enough, I only started getting frequent compliments on my hair when I went fulltime, lmao. My hair was shorter beforehand tbf, so Idk.
Your hairs down to your butt now ^^
True, it is perfect
I guess if I had this hair and was a guy people would compliment it anyway, but if I were a guy I feel like I'd be less likely to have stellar hair.
I didn't need to know the term pity passing. What a diseased idea.
Sorry
it is pretty bad, never really understood it myself...
Yeah, I don't actively hide that I'm trans, so I don't mind people spotting it unless they're weird.
After I came out as trans but was still mostly boymoding at work, a lot of the older women there would always compliment me when I wore something more feminine, and even though I'm sure it's partly because they know I have some insecurities, it definitely helped me be confident enough to stop boymoding.
I still have some hang-ups about being clocked because the first month or two of presenting femme, when I was just trying my best to learn make-up and outfits (pluss I'd been fewer months on E i guess), I would get clocked pretty frequently and sometimes people would just glare at me and it stressed me out.
It absolutely sucks having people get shitty when they clock you though, mood...
More and more people are saying it!!!
Well I would like compliments from anyone, especially if they thought I was trans
I went out grocery shopping with my gf in a pink powerpuff girl sweatshirt and a mask and while I was standing near the door waiting for her to finish checking out a random lady came up to me and complimented my sweater and I was nervous the whole time she was only doing it cuz she knew I was trans.
obligatory that could be it, but women just compliment other women. it's not even cope, that's just a strange thing to adjust to when every interaction with cis people already feels scary lol. I don't know what her intentions were, and maybe she was being nice because you're fem and she knew you're trans. the point is, she did the mutual girl thing with you and that isn't inherently being patronising
maybe
I mean, women just do this. Like my cis women friends compliment each other's outfits all the time and get compliments from strangers all the time. So do I when I'm wearing one of my SeryphΒ© outfits with all my silly distinctive aesthetics and pieces. (Turns out people love a good beret)
Hell one time I almost complimented a cis woman's outfit since I loved it so much but stopped myself since I was presenting masc at the time and didn't want to come off like I was hitting on her. (It was such a cute sweet lolita too...)
It really doesn't mean that they clocked you, especially if you were masking considering how that can help with passing.
yeah, idk what they would of clocked that being the case tbh
maybe my shoulders? they are technically within average female range, but on the upper part of that especially for my height, idk.
I probably did just look like a chick with my hoodie up and a mask on, so it was probably just that, but I was still worried about it the whole time.
I mean if you were wearing a sweater your actual shoulder width wouldn't be that clear either, from your description you probably just passed and she thought the sweater was cute. Women just do that. At most maybe she noticed you were anxious but that's not an exclusively trans thing. And if it was that she probably thought you were anxious about something unrelated and that complimenting you would have helped you feel a little better.
When you haven't experienced it much it can be a bit odd compared to when you pass as male and get basically 0 compliments, but that doesn't mean that it's them pitying you. It's just a different type of social experience.
I remember one time one of my classmates was wearing really cool boots and I screamed "I LIKE YOUR BOOTS THEY LOOK NICE" without even thinking about it and she said thanks.
I know it's really awkward sometimes when cis dorks get overly effusive, but I mean if they're respecting your gender & presentation anyway it's pretty fine right?
It does occur to me though, if cis people really be doing this, there's a much better than 0 chance that they've used whatever their gender criteria is to "clock as trans" another cis person and do the same. Lmao.
I get this a lot, but really there's no way to know their intentions for sure. And like it's way better to get compliments than get called a slur. So I think I can accept it.
Could they have thought you were a minor? Cis people will assume anything other than being trans sometimes...
I don't think so, I was wearing like a pretty "adult" looking shirt and stuff and she was probably my age.