"Open the pod bay doors, Hal."
"Sorry, Dave. Update in progress."
this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2024
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chapotraphouse
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I once saw a tesla hanging out in my back alley. The guy was trying to find a wifi signal to update his car.
Fucking lmao. Deeply unserious.
Deeply unserious
Wow dude chill. He might be an absolute fucking moron but does he really deserve the deeply unserious treatment?
Tesla warns against using the manual mechanism, citing that it should only be used when the car has no power. Janel said she was aware of this option but didn’t want to risk damaging her car, and she felt confident that she could stick out the heat.
i hate how they turned cars into phones now.
guess i have one more reason to avoid them.
turning cars into phones and free to play games (and full priced games!)
"What if video games cost $60,000, were several tons and could kill people, and still had microtransactions but they were all subscriptions"
When my overpriced gadget might be damaged if I took measures to protect my health.
The number of comments on people being like She could have used the auxiliary latch to open the doors! is astonishing
A car should not seal you inside for any reason
Just uncover the sealed joint-locked, Spring loaded connector, then back pressure the torque locked torsion spring while applying forward jerk to the counter rotating turnbuckle, then undo the cotter pin and pull the quick release! What about that is so hard when you're ~~drowning in a pond~~ burning to death?
spoiler
In all seriousness, the way they actually do it is legitimately terrible and unsafe. Even if it requires less actions
Manual door locks come with the premium subscription package.
this isn't even a joke, just real life - Doomed Boeing Jets Lacked 2 Safety Features That Company Sold Only as Extras
Did they hire any engineers?
"Why yes we have some truly amazing JavaScript interns for the Tesla software"
$ npm install unlock-doors
Why would they, Elmo is way smarter than any of them.
I can't believe I actually once thought Tesla cars were cool. Fucking useless piece of shit of a vehicle.
Comrade, be proud you can take in new information and grow.
EVs are still cool, I got roped in in the beginning as well. Some cities in my area are starting to roll out electric buses, just wish electric public transport got the glamour treatment that personal vehicles do.
I support EVs:
Gorgeous
Love how China just looks like The Future now
In more ways than one 
Boiled to death in my Tesla. Pretty Pretty Pretty Pretty not good, it was okay.
"Still love the car"
It reminds me of reading reviews for shitboxes like the last generation Chevrolet Cavalier, where the review will literally go "so the one headlight had a short in it, and the speedometer stopped working, and the seats started flopping and won't stay up, and it didn't pop the airbags when I crashed. Great car tho!"
There is no other car in the world where if you criticise a feature you get millions of views and thousands of comments screaming at you for your criticism.
The fact that this is true should be a red flag by itself about the quality of the vehicles.
Love it when cars in real life are as fragile as a flight sim model when automatically switching states (e.g. from 'cold and dark' to 'ready to start engines').
Learn 2 start manually, it’s probably faster with how slow flight sim loading times are
how did they even manage to fuck it up this bad? software that continues to function while updating isn‘t exactly new technology
Giving my customers heat stroke because separating locking from other features was too hard.
i'm not saying tesla owners deserve to be cooked in their cars, but...
... TikTokers, on the other hand...
Rolling deathtraps, every last one
where is it already 115° in mid april?
The inside of a car can get really hot really fast, even in 70F weather. Don't leave your kids or pets in cars!
Have you never sat in a car on a sunny day? Especially a greenhouse like Teslas are.
no i've never sat in a car on a sunny day 
Before you go jumping to conclusions about her ineptitude, Brianna Janel was actually following the rules laid out by Tesla.
The fact that she was in a Tesla to begin with does tell me some things about her eptitude or lack thereof, though I don't think she deserved to be cooked like that.
Yikes
Looking at a wet bulb calculator, at anything over 29% humidity (so outside of a desert basically) 115 degrees F is a wet bulb event. Eeeeek