I've been having a good time touching grass, hanging out with my best friends for the past few days, and we're making plans to do it again soon. We've been online friends for months but this is only the second time we've hung out irl (and last time we were both in significantly worse mental spaces.) It's so nice to be together irl with someone on the same autism wavelength as me haha. I'm so excited, in the coming months we'll be able to spend a lot more time together irl.
traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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Please follow the Hexbear Code of Conduct
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Selfies are not permitted for the personal safety of users.
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No personal identifying information may be posted or commented.
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Stay on topic (trans/gender stuff).
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Bring a trans friend!
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Any image post that gets 200 upvotes with "banner" or "rule 6" in the title becomes the new banner.
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Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
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When made outside of NSFW tagged posts, comments about dysphoria/traumatic/transphobic material should be spoiler tagged.
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Arguing in favor of transmedicalism is unacceptable. This is an inclusive and intersectional community.
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While this is mostly a meme community, we allow most trans related posts as we grow the trans community on the fediverse.
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Remember to report rulebreaking posts, don't assume someone else has already done it!
Matrix Group Chat:
Suggested Matrix Client: Cinny
https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat
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porter robinson being an ally in the r/popheads AMA today
Life-changing psychological experience, Vietnamese iced coffee, and a rainy day. The vibes today are excellent.
the only thing the bbc deserves any credit for is not having any advertisements on the tv and radio stations. laugh about the tv license all you want (i'll join you) but i physically cannot listen to radio with ads. sorry
rambling about being perceived / transphobia / downstairs
been stuck at the airport all night, but at least my presence is clearly upsetting the cissies the staring isn't getting to me the way it used to. i think this is because am more curvy & androgynous now & thus, more confident i think there are many factors at play here (estrogen, political climate, my baseline gender-nebulous appearance), but i swear, have never gotten this much attention from strangers. it's kinda empowering tbh. i don't care about "passing" in the slightest. like, i could have ten vagoogles & twenty uteruses & chuds would still be chuds. also, crazy how much more i like my cock now that am transitioning. like, the idea of SRS kinda freaks me out to begin with, but now it's like, yeah, i can definitely work with this pretty thing. used to hate it sooo much lmao.
dysphoria, money problem vent
Had a great day last Friday and Saturday morning was awesome too. Then I went to the beach in a conservative neighborhood and have felt like the bearded trans woman ever since.
Monday I took out a $5k loan to get the face and pits lasered. Was already $5k in on my credit card. Another $50k in student loans for a degree that probably won't help me find gainful employment with my physical health anyway. And have no idea how to restart my disability application in a way that will get it approved. I already tried getting on disability once, it was denied. I appealed, it was denied again but I never received the notice. My intention was to appeal the second one but by the time I found out, it was too late. I really need a lawyers help but finding one that does SSI (rather than SSDI) has been difficult.
Spent some time on job boards this morning. Pretty much everything is corporate now and with my shit resume from three decades of health problems, coupled with my current health, it didn't leave me feeling any optimism.
Plus, I have other health stuff that needs to be addressed. My teeth. Glasses. I don't know where I'm going to find the time, energy, or resources to take care of those.
Feeling overwhelmed and like giving up.
I'm kind of a dense bundle of emotions this week and I don't really know how to manage it all besides just doing what I need to do to move forward. I rarely talk about personal stuff anywhere online and I'm probably terrible at it, but I'll try. Some things:
The good:
- I have a BIG life change coming up that I'm extremely excited and happy about. I wanna be careful about saying anything too revealing right now but I'll probably talk about it a little more after it happens. It's not transitioning, but will make that much easier.
- I think I finally got PC-98 games working in a browser, which is something I've been trying to get right all week. I still have yet to test if fonts show up correctly, but if they don't, I have a plan B that I'm pretty sure will fix that issue. With the set up I have now, I can also more easily port other emulator stuff to my page, including DOS games, old console games, arcade stuff, etc. so all the work I'm doing now will pay off for everything else I want to do with the site.
- I saw a post earlier this week about LGB people's views on trans people that made me feel happy because it sort of addressed a weird insecurity I have:
(cw: brainworms, personal weirdness)
One thing that has always kind of bothered me, even before realizing I'm trans, is feeling unwelcome and excluded in women's spaces. I don't mean anything to do with sex and dating, mind you, but just being able to hang out with women socially and be welcomed as part of the group. I mean, I 100% get it because lots of cis men really are predatory creeps and it's understandable for women to be a little leery about male-presenting people, but it still always kind of bothered me, especially because I felt awkward in most masculine spaces as well for reasons that are now obvious to me. Anyways, there were 2 different polls posted both showing cis bi and lesbian women being overwhelmingly pro-trans compared to cis bi and gay men, which runs totally counter to my irrational worry about cis women being afraid of me or something. Maybe it's weird, but made me feel warm and fuzzy and even more excited to transition and officially join the girls club. Related, the absolute best part of coming out as trans so far has been being involved in trans spaces like this one, talking with other trans girls and being part of the group. Maybe it's sappy or something but I feel a sense of acceptance I'm not sure I've ever really felt and it's pretty amazing.
The bad:
- Regarding that "big life change" I'm being vague about, some friends and family are taking that change very poorly and one old friend is being unhinged and weird about it to the point where I had to block him for awhile. If they're taking this poorly, I can't even imagine how poorly they would take me coming out as trans. Maybe I'll just never come out to them and disappear to live my life. That seems like the best option at this point.
- This weird transphobic Olympics bullshit has me depressed. It's not even about actual trans people, yet transphobes are still using it as an excuse to spew hate and push violence. I'm not surprised, but just sad because it feels like it came out of nowhere today. I'd love to throw all these fuckers in a mineshaft and pour cement on top.
- Work is stressful and I'm tired all the time, but that's nothing new.
would you rather sneeze once a minute for 3 hours or cough every 10 seconds for 10 minutes? yes this is about being trans.
She's that pie I've had before and know a lot about y'know what I'm sayin', she's that one pie I would ever want in my life
Celeste is in a bundle on Humble rn for $6 (the four item pack) and that alone is worth it if you like tight 2d platformers and discovering speedrun mechanics. The main character is trans-fem. And some money goes to charity.
Webbed looks pretty fun and highly rated as well and you play as a spider. 2d platformer with grapple mechanic.
I really hate tech and computers and doing IT, I thought I was able to escape it by nursing. Nope. Can't believe I cried over this pc stuff not working lol.
Anyway, I feel better now. I had some non dairy ice cream, a bath, facial mask and now I'm doing a foot mask
Capitalist culture is like an eldritch horror that is all encompassing to the point of suffocation. A sensory blitz of advertisements, television, symbols and music all violently crashing into each other to the point of one's own mental overload.
dissecting some transphobia, cw transphobia n homophobia
The pathetic transphobe mind does not consider t4t, does it? I mean, all of the frenzied transphobic outrage is about trans people advancing aggressions on The Cis in whatever way, "tricking" them into sex or destroying them at sports. This is also all the same type of outrage directed at gay men & lesbian women in the 1990s, all about "converting" 'innocent straights' into gays or that kids might see, that shit.
I think transphobes simply do not consider the idea that trans people would not want to fuck them. Partly it's because the transphobic propaganda shit doesn't stand to benefit much from it and bastards love playing victim, but also for whatever reason (ego? idk) this type of person just cannot imagine that trans people would have no interest in the cis. Breaks their world view. Guessing most of them do not understand what solidarity is either, the terfs in particular probably being too hateful and poisonous to enjoy their concocted "sisterhood" shit.
There's probably not a lot of point to this post but I was thinkin bout The Revolutionary T4T. I've never dated cis people and I feel like I haven't missed out, lol
more horny posting
maybe it's just because i've been having extremely high estrogen levels but my god has the girl horny been making me have some completely and utterly unspeakable thoughts recently. like wtf i've never felt anything close to the need to get until i can't walk
yea
horny
i was working at a pizza place a year ago during summer, and while i was working i felt a bead of sweat start tracing it's way down my spine and my mind just went blank for a minute or two. just the thought that someone would've run their fingers down that route made me imagine some things on that table
Dreamt I was cheating on my ex epic gamer moment I think
So shaved my face fully for the first time since I started figuring out my identity, really first time in years.
Kitty bumps are so fuckin soft. I think I'd look a bit better after I've lost some weight though :p