askchapo

the good ol' blasphemous "jesus fucking christ"

In places where I can say fuck: "Ah, fuck."
In places where I can't say fuck: "Ah, ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffudge."

I've got two that i don't know where they started. If something happens suddenly like stubbing my toe or being surprised/scared I'll literally go "GOLLY" If I'm angry at getting killed in Overwatch or something I go " Suck my left dick" which I can't trace at all

recently i've noticed myself saying "god damn you" to inanimate objects a lot. it goes much harder than just "god damn it"

Death to America

• Wah! (an actual demonstration of sadness feels healthy)

Best said with Waluigi pronunciation

I blame Uncle from Jackie Chan Adventures for teaching me "Aiya!" and my usage had only gotten more frequent.

fugg

"fucking dogshit"

I have dogs, and sometimes they have that really huge smelly poop that instantly falls apart when touched. Trying to clean the yard can be an exercise in frustration. That frustration translates.

Around kids: shazbot

Alone or around adults: well, shitfire.

YEBAAAAAT'

I say "Christ on sale" a lot, which I think I first heard in an episode of Archer. Otherwise usually just an ad chain of invective.

I'm a simple them raised by Sam Jackson movies; "motherfuck" and all its possible variants dependent on the source of the bullshit. That, "scheisse", "blin", and "blyat". Blame Rammstein and a misspent childhood in 1.6 lobbies for those last three.

What the fluff

Muthafuckin gahdamn orange peel beef

Usually "god fucking dammit" or "jesus fucking christ" or "for fucks sake" but anything with ye olde f-bomb will do in a pinch

Around others: crap

Just me: either crap or shite

Removed

fuck. simple

I've been doing AH BOB SAGET basically since that video was first around

Motherfuck

Ay what

[Name of person I'm talking to], what the fuck?

it's either "dagnabit" or "fuck me with a rake"

what the frick

Probably "Oh hell", courtesy of my crush on Captain John Sheridan.

I just say "problem" usually

Fuck me sideways

Or some expletive in a language other than English. Cursing in English doesn't have the same impact.

Shit on my balls

Fuckin' Hell

The usual f--- word

Others: Pu---- Ina

Sacre Quebecois: calice, sacrement, not to repeat the t-word

"god [fucking] damn it" and you've gotta enunciate each word. great for when you break something, accidentally hurt yourself, or get bad news. has a lot of range. use the word fucking as optional spice.

RIP Robin

"fuck my nuts" or "gods balls"

Fuck me in the goat ass

"oh cock". Got it from James May

Different Variations of "Chinga tu Madre"

crap dangit

about 80% of what i call a personality comes from compulsively mirroring my media consumption choices.

at home:

• "fuck me", in the style of Bunk Moreland in the "fuck" investigation scene, specifically quiet the fuck he uses when McNulty hands him the needlenose pliers with the bullet in them. it's a very, "i give up, i might cry" sort of sound.

professionally:

• "good lord" sorta like Jeremy Iron's character says in die hard 3 when he's pretending to be a somewhat effete and physically unimposing dutch investor, but maybe dialed back 40%.

i worked for a long time in a public facing, public servant role for smaller communities and conditioned myself to not talk like i did in my 20s. even when i do slip one out, it's usually muttered and disguised in some kind of vague exhaling mouth noise.

• "Chërt!" or "Chërt voz'mí!"
• "Yabeé!" or "Yabai!" — in an exaggerated Russian accent due to phonetic similarity to yebát'
• "Crikey!" — in an exaggerated Steve Irwin impression
• "PIAZZA DI SAN MARCO!" — idiosyncratic minced oath of pizdéts
• "Yowzers in the trousers!" — idiosyncratic
• "FAEN!" — straight from the soul
• "HELVETE!" or more often "HÆLLVETTE!" — also straight from the soul

Oh god, my goodness, fuck me in the ass

Frick

Really like "shit sucking - mother fuckin'"