going outside in the same make-up i passed out in yesterday because it's brat summer

Continuing to struggle with the feeling like I don’t belong, neither as a trans person or even more broadly as a queer person. It feels like a joke—I’m just a straight cis dude in all but name.

!CW Venting, social dysphoria:!<

!Feeling kind of shitty and just generally lost in my transition. There's a lot of stuff about it that feels daunting and that I don't know how to move forward with. Lately I've been wishing I had a cis girl friend who could help me out, and be a kind of 'big sister' I could go to for advice. But most of the women I'm friends with are very butch, and haven't felt super equipped to help me. And the one friend I have who has been able to help, moved multiple States away, and while she's been able to help me with some stuff, the distance has impacted our friendship, and I'm just feeling sad about the whole thing!<

I haven't posted the last couple days, but I have been feeling good. Like myself again. Just haven't had a lot to say or talk about. There's been a couple things on my mind, but they're not really worth getting into (especially when overall I'm doing well). But, in good news, a friend reached out to me. This is the friend I came out to a little while ago, but we hadn't talked since then. Sounds like he just got busy with life stuff. Also, going to do something I've been needing to do for a little bit now but have been putting off

Goodnight comrades, here's part of the code of conduct that i think about alot

Be aware of your own enjoyment of the site.

• If you find yourself no longer having fun, do something else. There are many different comms on Hexbear, and many different ways to shitpost and have fun.
• If the site as a whole is just not cutting it for you, take a break. We'll still be here when you get back. Nothing should compel you to stay.

https://hexbear.net/code_of_conduct

I've started saying "yippee" as a reaction a lot more since starting HRT

Just had my first electrolysis session and hoooooooly shit that was unpleasant. Way worse than laser. The tech was great but goddamn it was sooooo slow and a type of pain im not great with

CW dysphoria:

I play it cool here, but every week, in my head I'm like, "this is the week I'm going to tell them I'm actually a cis guy and that I can't post with them anymore 😭"

Lmao so deranged

Watched ~~part of~~ a voice training video and now youtube thinks I'm serious. Stop reminding me of my weakness

My breaking bad hyperfixation is the most obsessed anyone has ever been about something

I misread the "Linux" on her shirt as "Ligma" multiple times. Deadass. I keep having to double check.

For some reason my tax refund got super delayed this year, but I finally got it! First time in forever I don't feel broke. Time to get some cute winter outfits

might have gotten a wee tipsy last night

If I backtrack on this in a week, I'm blaming the carousel

Well I'm starting Naltrexone today. I really hope it's enough to keep me out of rehab

Webfishing clocked both me and my sister. The first chest she opened awarded her the pan title, and the first chest I opened awarded me the bi title. How did it know these things? This doesn't change the fact that I'm still going to run the Good Girl title though.

it's funny how two drinks can legitimately get me drunk. a good value too. I just watched the menu and that was good and ate bean borgors

I also did my injection today finally

I'm planning for the future too

I really hope people to believe in me when I say things about myself and how I feel

goodnightt

i am constantly bullied every time i want to say something on here. people from all around the world gather to call me "pee pee girl" and push my face into the dirt...

When I'm around new people who I've introduced myself as my chosen name to, I feel comfortable and amazing and more able to be myself. But when I'm around people I already knew before beginning this journey, I feel this weird tension and I'm not sure what to make of it.

I remember jumping into the trans coffin in dark souls 2 and never noticing the effect since I was always beef jerky in armor was in for a surpise when I used an effigy and changed armor

girl facts I wish I knew sooner: apparently the longer your hair gets, the LESS often you're supposed to wash it wtf. i thought i was supposed to wash it more. this probably explains why my hair is always going fucking everywhere

In my wife’s Snuggie; got that girl stank going on

I was absent for a few weeks. Sure glad decades didn't happen in the meantime

trans linux mascot

TW: Discussion of health

OH MY GOSH I almost forgot to mention some progress I made today. I was trying to set up Bluetooth in the car, and it always repeats certain phrases back at me. I dread it for this exact reason, and I've avoided setting it up until now with that being one of many reasons. However, it had to happen, so I went to do it and put on my best fem voice. Imagine my shock when it spits my voice back out at me, and it sounds like a mature woman! I don't even know how I did it, and I don't want to listen to it again in case it ruins what might be magic, but in that moment I felt such intense euphoria. I then enjoyed the convenience of having my music on Bluetooth while no longer having to deal with my static-ridden aux cable.