Nah I just remembered something, I used to pray daily to Allah to somehow make me a girl

"man being a lesbian seems so nice. too bad i'm a boy. if only i were trans, then i could be a girl. oh well. "

Always playing as a woman in videogames, wearing women's underwear to bed because I like how it feels, laying fetal position in the shower and crying because I wished I could get pregnant, getting out of the shower and wrapping my towel around like a skirt and admiring it in the mirror, looking into hormone therapy and surgeries in a private browser tab even though no one else uses my computer. Normal guy stuff.

• Always being in the boys dorms during camp

• regularly fantasising how cool it would be to have a penis

• wearing a fake moustache at every dress up event

• copying the bad posture of the boys from my class

"If I could take a pill and change genders for a day, I would do that just for fun"

"I wish I was born a girl so then I could be a transguy"

"I wish I was trans but I like my dick too much"

Me finding out I can just keep my dick if I want to

gallery full of faceapp screenshots 7 years before I started E

-fantasizing a lot about what if I was a girl in a next life -wishing I had an older sister or girl friend that would make me to crossdress -always having a list of female names ready to go for some reason -wishing my puberty failed so I wouldn't get the typical male puberty development

Teenage me reading about some Ranma 1/2 game for Super Famicom in an EGM column back in 1993 or 94 and seeing the explanation that the protagonist in the anime turns into a girl whenever he gets splashed with water, and thinking, "huh, shit; I'd just carry a Super Soaker and hose myself down every time it wore off."

Also, doing extensive research and taking a carefully crafted cocktail of herbal supplements in an attempt to grow breasts based on information gleaned from an extremely brainwormed forum is a totally cishet thing to do, right?

“Formal dress occasions are the absolute worst.”

Buying women's underwear as soon as you had you're own place and sometimes just sitting around wearing it is pretty cis right?

Just a normal guy with no non binary or gender fluid thoughts at all. Why'd you think that

Saying shit like “I don’t mind being a guy, but if I got magically transformed into a girl I’d totally be okay with it”

Having long hair since I was about I think 8? And using it to cover my face because I didn’t like they way it looked

When I was very little I asked my mom when we were clothes shopping if I could try on a dress, that didn’t go well

Playing as a girl in Terraria and feeling both happy and very guilty about to the point where I asked my sister if it was okay for me to do that (thankfully she was nice about it and said yeah)

there was always something slightly irritating to me about the idea of there being women's bathrooms and women's lockerrooms because as a cis man unless i was the janitor or something, there was literally zero reason i ever had to go inside there. there's something that taunted me about there being this room that exists in a building that only some people could go into but not me. i didn't feel like i cared what was in there (typing that out, i think i actually did) but like, "room i couldn't go into" always rubbed me the wrong way.

i fucking hated myself during my teenage years, my most normal "very cis actually" thought was that i would love to volunteer for some project where they'd turn my brain into a computer and i'd just be a formless intelligence inside a computer who would use a synthetic lady voice to converse with all the scientists and appear on a hologram pedestal in feminine forms like all the AIs do in sci-fi

Most recent things:

Telling my brother "If I was raised today, I'd probably identify as NB". Not as an insult or suggesting it was just a trend either, but rather celebrating the shift. This one is cheating though because my egg was actually starting to crack at this point though, so the meaning was more "I think I might be NB, but my brain refuses to accept that label now, so just give it a week for processing time".

Saying something like "I don't identify as a man, but I'm not trans so I guess I'm technically cis". I think at this point the reason I didn't think I was trans was largely because I hadn't always known I was trans and don't really understand NB options and still really only knew of that stereotype

Somehow I could admit that I think it's totally plausible to be a trans girl in the future yet still be 100% cis

One of my favorite sci-fi themes is when the mechanism of time travel is used to explore characters' refusal to accept their own selves. Dark (2019) is a very good show about that theme, and it has some trans undetones so I'd recommend it!

Anyway, sadly I don't have anything to contribute to the thread outside of that.

i explained to my mom once, as a kid, very seriously, that i wanted to get pregnant and have 20 kids in one go

"would I find me hot if I were a girl?" and "god, I wish I were gay so I could date dudes"

extremely funny when connecting the two thoughts

As a teen seeing porn for the first time 'cos some classmate stopped me in the corridor and showed me pics of a naked woman and the only thing I felt was that I'd never be pretty like the woman pictured.

Between that and an aborted sexual encounter with a cute bloke 'cos I got naked and was just instantly turned off, I assumed I was ace for years.

I one time told my older sister that I wanted her to take me to buy a skirt because it would be comfier for me, I was 14

"I don't like getting my picture taken or being on video or talking on the phone or hearing my voice or looking in mirrors, but there's nothing odd about that and I will proceed to not think about that at all." 🙃

As a teen, if I had found a way to safely perform self-orchi, I would have. I thought they were gross/pointless and I thought riding a bike would be more comfortable without them.

Oh and also as a teen, I never participated in anything that involved a locker room. The idea of taking off my clothes in front of a bunch of boys felt violating for reasons I couldn't articulate at the time.

As a small child I asked my parents for a pink dress, and actually got it. I was very proud of it, but the daycare was less tolerant than my parents. My mother actually apologized to me for not anticipating the backlash back then.

i read a book where the main character magically turned into a girl after kissing his elbow and the next time my parents were out of the house for a bit i spent 3 hours trying to kiss my elbow before i hurt myself and was SO SAD it didn't work

Uhhh, having this weird energy when ever any gender would happen and feeling like I wanted to be a cute anime girl in middle school, still cis tho.

I remember really enjoying tucking in my penis and testes and looking at my flat mons pubis in the mirror. I recently did it again, and it unlocked a lot of childhood memories.

Strongly identifying with a friend who had previously shown disdain for their assigned gender was probably a pretty big one. (They came out as non-binary eventually)

Kinda lame/g*mer-coded but feeling actual emotional and minor physical distress when playing as a man in games that give you the option to play as a woman and never really questioning WHY despite the typical g*mer responses not applying to me.

I remember being indescribably jealous of strippers because the idea that you could get paid money to take your shirt off felt like something that i could never do and if i did people would probably pay me money to put my shirt back on

i wish I was trans, because I hate my current gender

took me actual years to understand those words and that it was actually possible to do it

When I was a teenager, I had this weird idea of what a (straight) marriage is supposed to be. I had this elaborate cosmology about how people are both spiritually male and female but through the machination of the Demiurge, the physical form fooled people into thinking they only possess one gender, and it's through (straight) marriage and (straight) sex that the hidden repressed gender gets unlocked. So, a man spends the first 20 years of his life learning how to be a man and spends the rest of his life through guidance by his wife on how to be a woman and vice versa so that by the time they reached old age, both of them have transcended the gender binary into a gender unary through incorporation of both masculinity and femininity within themselves.